


what's new, pussy cat?

by promptly (ghsts)



Category: Schitt's Creek
Genre: M/M, david x patrick, davidxpatrick, fluff?, patrick actually loves cats, this pairing owns my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 17:48:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18393332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghsts/pseuds/promptly
Summary: "YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO CATS!" David all but yells, startling Patrick."What? No I'm not!" Patrick laughs, and absent mindly runs a hand down his chest. "Where did you hear that?"





	what's new, pussy cat?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xoxxblitz](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoxxblitz/gifts), [wildxwired](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wildxwired/gifts).



> Patrick totally lied about being allergic to cats. Also, this is the first time I'm posting anything in this fandom, and also my first time writing in a _while_. Be gentle with me!

"Oops! Watch yoursel-!"

David gasps as Ted falls forward in front of him, arms outreached, grasping for a speedy Calico as it darts forward, skuffing the hem of David's long-shorts. It's so fast it feels like slow motion, and David's head spins as his eyes follow the furry escapee as it flies directly into Patrick's quick grasp.

"Oh my god!" David gasps dramatically, watching as Patrick gentle wrestles the feline into a warm, safe embrace.

"Oh, thank god!" Ted sighs, pushing himself up on his knees. "Nice catch," he nods at Patrick. 

Patrick just smiles and looks down at the squirming little rogue. Something looks odd about that, and David is about to ask what that is but Ted cuts him off.

"She's a slippery one," Ted laughs, reaching out to take the cat out of Patrick's arms. "Cute, but evi-" Ted's cut off by the cat hissing and a lightening paw slashing out at him. The cat growls lowly and pushes against Patrick's favourite blue sweater.

"Woah!" Ted says, and David gasps, one hand shooting out instinctively to touch Patrick but then pulling away at the risk of this clawed menace.

"Hey you," Patrick said in what David could only describe as a soft dad voice (which David was totally into, but that's something he'll have to think about later, there's a demon in fur burrowing into his boyfriend's chest). "That's no way to behave." 

The cat starts to purr and knead at Patrick's jumper, which seems to make Patrick smile wider. His face was practically glowing in a way David hadn't seen before, and there was something so dangerously cute about it that David had to hold back a squee.

"Where do you want her?" Patrick asked, his voice still soft. 

"In here," Ted motioned, and lead Patrick out of the door well towards the back-room. David stood back for a second, watching Patrick walk ahead, a furry white, black and caramel tail swaying out from his arms. There was something that just wasn't feeling right about this, but he just couldn't put his finger on it.

He was still pondering when Patrick and Ted reappeared, Patrick wiping the cat hair from his sweater.

"What the hell was that?" Ted is saying, patting Patrick's back. "Gilly _never_ acts like that with _anyone_!"

Patrick shrugged. "I like cats."

Hmmm. David raises a hand to his mouth, not actually chewing his nails (not with the price of manicures these days) but sort of just mouthing the action. It's there, on the edge of his mind, something just waiting to drop of the edge...

"David?" Patrick waved a hand in front of his face. "You there, babe?"

 _Babe._ That had been a recent development and David was still on the fence about it, but he's giving it a trial period. However, it did the job of pulling David from his thoughts.

"Huh? What? Yes?" He stuttered out in rapid fire.

"The forms?" Patrick held his hand out. "For Ted? For the store?"

David stared at Patrick blankly, at his smooth, clear skin and little pink lips. 

_The forms._ David shook his head, and reached into his bag. The forms for Ted. Ted's forms. The forms they were bringing for Ted. The reason they'd detoured on their walk home. 

He pulled out the forms and handed them over to Patrick. "The forms! Sorry, my mind was...other places..."

Patrick raised an eyebrow but said nothing, and just handed the forms to Ted.

"Awesome," Ted said, scanning over the first two pages. "So, I just circle whatever I think you should get?"

"Yeah," Patrick replies, and he stuffs his hands in his pockets, looking over at the papers. "I think that's all the organic brands, but if there's anything else you think of just throw it in there, but maybe focus on the more common house pet items?"

Ted nods, and thanks him before going behind the desk to set the forms down. "I'll get it back to you on Monday!"

Patrick nods and waves, making his way back over to David who is still standing there perplexed. It's almost there, it's within reach...

Patrick nudges him and David blinks, shaking his head. "What?" He looks down at Patrick, then up at Ted. "Uh, bye?" He waves, and allows Patrick to gently push him out of the vet clinic.

"Are you okay?" Patrick asks as he links one hand up with David's free hand. 

"What?" David says. "Yeah, I'm fine, I just..." He squints. It's there, he's almost got it....

"YOU'RE ALLERGIC TO CATS!" David all but yells, startling Patrick.

"What? No I'm not!" Patrick laughs, and absent-mindedly runs a hand down his chest. "Where did you hear that?"

David stops and lets go of Patrick hand. He turns and stands there with one hip cocked, his elbow almost resting on it with his bag, glasses still in his hand as he waves them dramatically.

"You said it! At the store! When you brought that fugly fra-my business license!" He catches himself and darts his eyes quickly.

Patrick frowns, confused. "I don't know why I-" He stops. "Oh. Yeah." 

David's brow furrows deeper. "What?"

"Uh," Patrick says, stepping forward and taking David's hand again. "I lied about that."

David makes a sound between a gasp and a d'uh and waves his glasses again. "Why would you lie about something so stupid? I stopped stocking those damn scarves because I didn't want to come in one morning to you blue in the face or whatever!" He huffs, because okay, maybe the cat-hair scarves weren't great sellers but David is pretty sure the reason for that is that he tried to hide them away in the back, then he just stopped stocking them to be on the safe side. He has a box of them under his bed at the motel, just to play it safe. He couldn't risk something happening to Patrick. Sure, David wasn't entirely sure about the effects of a cat hair allergy but he imagined it wasn't all that different to a nut reaction and he saw Kelsey White take a fit in third grade and he was not risking that happening to Patrick.

"Uh," Patrick's cheeks were a flushed red, and he was smiling at the ground as they walked. "I only said that so Alexis would stop flirting with me."

David considers that for a few seconds before replying with, "But she always flirted with you. She _still_ flirts with you." He rolled his eyes.

Patrick chuckles. "Well, she was getting very close and started to wrap me up in that scarf, and then you walked in, the reason I was there in the first place, and I suddenly really didn't want you to see someone else...touching me?"

David stops them again, squeezing Patrick's hand. "You pretended you were allergic to an animal you clearly love just so I wouldn't think you had any interest in my sister?" He put's his sunglasses on to hide the smile he knew was growing on his face.

Patrick shrugs and laughs, looking anywhere but at David's face for the minute, their hands still linked and fingers slightly toying with each other. "I wanted you to think I was...available." He shrugs again and looks up at David with eyes that David could physically drown in. "Also," he says softly. "I really fucking love cats."

David can't hold back his laugh. It was kinda cute Patrick had actually went out of his way to show interest in him; David wasn't used to that. He also wasn't used to the truth being admitted to him on first questioning. 

"We are not getting a cat," David says, and he leans forward to press a kiss to Patrick's cheekbone.

"Hear me out," Patrick pleads, but David just shakes his head, images of torn Gucci shorts and black Prada shirts covered in hair dancing through his mind. "No way. Nope. No chance. Nada. Nay!"


End file.
